JFR Lunatic Loco Review

 Hey all! Back again with another stellar review!

I have to warn you..... Today's review is a real ass kicker! No, I mean that totally. It's not a joke. With that being said, I bring you the JFR Lunatic Loco :

Now, Meatloaf calls me up and says he has a new cigar for me to try. He says he got a great deal on a box of 10 from Cigar Monster for around $70. 

Imagine my surprise when he hands me over this log of a cigar! 

Weighing in at a size of  5 1/2 x 80, yes I said 80,  that's an inch and a quarter diameter. Believe me, this cigar has some heft to it! 

Cigars International describes this cigar as such:

A Nicaraguan puro containing nothing but the best leaves from Aganorsa’s own farms, the Loco wears a special shade-grown Jalapa Corojo wrapper dripping with oils and as dark as a good cup o’ Joe. You can definitely expect this beauty to greet you with full-bodied, spicy flavors, and keep you interested with smooth earth, pepper, dark fruit, cedar, and leather notes. 

First thing you notice, obviously, is it's huge size. At an 80 ring gauge you really feel the heft in your hand. This large perfecto has a dark oily wrapper with slight veins. 

Sitting in the early evening air on Meatloaf's deck we cut the heads and take a cold draw. There is little resistance and surprisingly no taste to the draw. That's new. Neither of us have ever had that happen before. Puzzling..... 

It's about 6:25,  After a quick light, we get a subtle taste of pepper on the draw. 

Meatloaf notices that there is a cap at both ends, with the foot having been cut.  Another first for us. After about 10 minutes he says he is feeling a buzz already..... Is this a sign? 

At a half hour in, this cigar has barely burned down. Definitely a slow burner. It's burn is uneven for both of us. The ash is silvery white, indicating that there was alot of nitrogen in the soil. 

Spice is still present and I am getting leather taste. Meatloaf admits he has never recognized leather in any cigar, but is getting the dryness in his mouth that is typical with the leather. Everyone is different where it comes to palate. Meatloaf says that he is learning to recognize the leather tastes from the dryness. There is a taste there he doesn't recognize but surmises that is what leather is to his palate. 

Everyone's palate evolves as we smoke more and more, trying different cigars. So if you don't get the tastes described about a cigar, don't fret, it will eventually come to you as you continue to smoke cigars. 

An hour has passed and I am getting a little wood flavor. Still slow burning not even close to the halfway point. I look at my watch and it's about 7:30. Meatloaf harasses me about having to be home by a certain curfew as my wife likes me home by a certain time....happy wife happy life I say..... LOL 

We noticed that you can't get a good volume of smoke with just one puff. It takes a good 3 to 4 to make a good cloud. We attribute that to the gargantuan ring gauge. 

8:00 o'clock comes and I am feeling a bit of a buzz. I'm getting a sweetness to the smoke now. Meatloaf is starting to get the wood flavor. At an hour and a half this cigar has finally reached its halfway point. 

8:15  Meatloaf gets a nicotine overload. He starts to sweat and he feels woozy. He says his forearms even get clammy. I myself am feeling the euphoric ride of the nicotine wave. I'm thinking to myself how am I going to finish this cigar? 

8:25 Meatloaf says that the sweats have passed. 

8:30 I have to throw in the towel. At over halfway through the cigar I am really not feeling so good. Too much nicotine. I resolve to finish my cigar the next day. Meatloaf says he's fine, with his chest all puffed out, he's going to finish his tonight! 

We say our goodbyes and I head home. I get home and relate my experience with Mrs CigarMoose. She says I'm crazy and why would I smoke such a big cigar? For the same reason people climb Everest, because it's there..... LOL 

I'm sitting on my deck for some fresh air. After over 15 minutes after leaving Meatloaf's house I am still buzzing except at a more comfortable level. My cell phone dings indicating that I have received a message. It's Meatloaf.... He had to throw in the towel too. The sweats came back! LOL 

Round 2

So the next day I sit on the deck. The rest of the Lunatic is calling my name from my Stinky Ashtray. 

I stare at it in my hand and let out a breath of reservation, thinking of what it did to me the night before. 

So I decide to attack this in a different way. I stick it in the end of my corncob pipe! 

I could barely fit the head into the opening but surprisingly it made a good seal. It didn't take long to relight. Right off the bat I was right where I left off the night before. A blast of very full flavor with pepper, leather, and wood. 

10 minutes goes by and I start buzzing already! My God! What the hell do they put in this bastard? 

A half hour later and it doesn't even look like it has burned down hardly! 

A full hour from start and I am done. It's just too full flavored, too full in strength. I messaged Meatloaf and he says that he isn't even going to try to finish his. 

Look at it! It didn't really burn down that much! 

Well, what can we say? 

From start to finish this was a good 3 hour cigar. So plan accordingly. 

Buzz rating :  10 out of 10

This really was an ass kicker! We both agree that it was just too much. Even at a second sitting I could not finish it. To be fair, most people would not smoke it down as far as me in a pipe but on the other hand, there was enough left that it would probably be equal to what you would normally smoke it. 

Overall rating : 3 out of 5

This one was just too strong for both of us! And we are seasoned smokers! It had good flavor. It never unwrapped. You definitely want to set aside a good 3 hours for this cigar. If it had been a bit weaker it could have been a solid 4 to 4.5.

I would not Probably buy these for my humidor, but will happily help Meatloaf smoke the other 8!

Well they can't be that bad if you want to smoke them again!, you might say. 

And you're right. But be warned.... You have to smoke these under the right conditions. Full stomach, keep drinking, take your time, 3 plus hours..... That's my advice..... It's not for the rookie smoker and even seasoned smokers will have a time with it. 

You have been warned!!! 

Till next post....... Peace!