Confessions of a Cigar Smoker

Another summer season is gone. Fall weather is upon us. Fireflies flashing their beacons of love are but a memory. A typical Adirondack setting as my wife and I sit on the deck, overlooking the pool which desperately beckons me to winterize it. I sit here with a Gurkha Park Avenue cigar in hand, wisps of smoke trail off the foot of my cigar while I contemplate starting a camp fire in our fire pit. Five years ago, all was not like this. Five years ago, we were not delving into the realm of cigar smoking. I guess to find out how I got where I am today, you have to look at where I have been.

Since I was a kid, I loved the smell of tobacco. But for me, I never smoked a day in my life until I was 35 years old. My grandfather was a cigarette smoker from the time he was 12 years old, but he quit when he was in his 80’s before having a heart valve replacement. My father, who had smoked cigarettes in the military, before I was born, had quit and forbid my brothers and I to smoke while living at home. My father’s brothers were also cigarette smokers with the exception of one, who in fact was a cigar smoker/cigar chewer. I remember him frantically searching local stores when his regular store ran out of his brand.

My other grandfather was a tobacco chewer. Longcut like real men chew, not that pussy snuff which seems so popular today. I remember him pulling out his pouch of Red Man and asking us if we wanted to try some “worms”. Not very appetizing to a 7 year old to say the least. I never tried to smoke anything in my teens, let alone chewing tobacco, but I still liked the smell of tobacco. I was one of those “Sniffers”. You know, one of those guys you see in the store who picks up a bag of pipe tobacco and just sniffs the bag before putting it back and moving on. That’s when the drug stores had an accessible aisle for consumers to actually touch the bags, and obsessively sniff in my case.

Now enter my wife. She truly came from a rather  large smoking family. I didn’t smoke, so if she wanted to date me, she had to not smoke. She was not a smoker per se; she had smoked maybe only a pack up to that point in her life. She would sneak them from her father who was also sneaking them as he was a terrible asthmatic with emphysema. Ironic that this man was on oxygen and would sneak away to “tend to the fire” in the basement to have a cig. Needless to say, it was no problem for her to quit and slip on my class ring.

The very first cigars I purchased were for the birth of my son in 1997. They were the typical cheapie cigars with the cheesy “It’s A Boy!” labels, which I never even kept or smoked one, as I was not a smoker. For my first born, my daughter, I punked out and bought Chocolate "Its a Girl!" cigars, you should have seen the sideways glances I got handing them out.

Shortly after, we took a trip to New Hampshire to visit my brother. It was there I had my first experience with a walk in humidor at the local mall. I was in sniffing heaven! The store clerk indulged me in my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder of “sniffing” and gave me a sample of pipe tobacco for my sniffing pleasure.

Finally after years of moving, children, and numerous jobs, we settled down in one spot, and became the typical American family. Upon returning home I purchased a cigar sampler on clearance at a local drugstore. I kept that sampler for about 4-5 years in a drawer unhumidified. I had no knowledge at all about proper cigar storage. Over the years I had a handful of cigars given to me by friends which I stored in the same fashion, in the dark recesses of my drawer.

In the Spring of 2006, while “sniffing” my stash, my wife suggested that I try one. I was floored! This woman, the bearer of our children, who hated the smell of cigarettes herself, was suggesting that I do something that I forbid my own children to do. My first reaction was “No!”, I didn’t want the kids to find out and get the wrong idea. After some discussion (about 5 minutes worth) we decided to try one together.

Our first choice was not a good one. Remember those old cigars stashed in the drawer all those years? It was a Rum Runner. It was dry. It was stale. It tasted bad. We threw it away and went to a fresh pack of Swisher Sweet Perfectos we had purchased recently for the “collection”. Wow! What a difference! This wasn’t too bad. This led to Swisher XL flavored cigars and then to the fine hand rolled cigars we smoke today.  And so began our new hobby smoking cigars.

Now, I am a researcher. Not in a professional way, but in a “I have to know everything about what I am interested in” sort of way. You name it, I have probably researched it from my computer. Viva la Internet! It’s another one of my OCD tendencies, but in the end, I know all about what I want and know why I want it. I have read many articles ranging from cigar history to the common man growing his own tobacco in the back yard and rolling his own cigars.

In my foray into the thirst for knowledge into the world of cigars, I found the plethora of information to be overwhelming. Every cigar store has its own version of Cigars 101. And  although many are similar in most fashions, many differ greatly on some matters. The first website I encountered had it’s own downloadable Etiquette Essay. I though I hit the Jackpot! All I needed to know about cigars in one spot! I thought that armed with this knowledge I couldn’t possibly look like an idiot when I light up. I could instead look like a seasoned cigar pro and not offend with any amateur antics. I could really look like I knew what I was talking about to my friends. Then after a few more searches, what did I find? You’re not supposed to toast the foot? The band should be left on? Store the cigars with the Cello wrappers off? Contradictions and conflicts were piling up!  The more I looked the more contradictions I found. Now I was truly puzzled. Who was right?

In the end I came to one conclusion………It doesn’t make a damn bit of difference. One mans Do is another mans Don’t. It all amounts to ones personal preference. I like toasting the foot of the cigar before I light it. I like to take the band off right away. And by God, I like to leave the Cellos on the cigars in the humidor! They help to protect the wrappers because I rotate and move them a lot.

For the wife and I, smoking cigars was quite the bonding experience. A new hobby which we both shared. For a while, it was our “Dirty little secret”. We would share cigars on the back steps before the kids got home from school. We would make sure to bury them like cat turds in the sand so no one could find them. We kept it private, away from anyone’s knowledge. But why did  we feel the need to be so secretive? We weren’t breaking the law. But over the next months we slowly came out of the “closet” and become mostly public. I say mostly because we weren’t publicly announcing to everyone, but if they found out, oh well…… And when we did come out, we could not believe how many friends also smoked cigars!

Our kids surprisingly were ok with it when they found out.  After the shock and awe of it wore off them, they asked when they could smoke cigars? We told them that they could after they turned 35, like us, and cigarettes were never to be touched ever. I mean, what could we say? It would have been quite hypocritical to tell them "never".

We have made it a rule to never smoke in the house or vehicles. Strictly outdoor enjoyment. It has been a fair weather seasonal hobby for us. Wintertime comes and our hobby becomes almost nonexistent with the exception of the occasional opportunity to smoke at friends houses designated smoking areas. It’s a time we try to stock the humidor with our favorites, to let them season until the next warm weather. But we have plans to convert a newly purchased shed into a wood shop/den. And into that endeavor we will install heating, vent fans, some seating,maybe a few ashtrays....... Hmmmmmm? Sounds like we could have cigars in there during cold weather..........

Most people used to be surprised we liked cigars. Me, mostly because I never did any sort of deviate behavior in my life; my wife, because it isn’t that often you see a woman smoking a cigar. I find my wife smoking a cigar is sexy in a Demi Moore sort of way. Not that I think of Demi when I see my wife with a cigar, its more of a taboo to see a woman go against the grain of what womanly behavior is expected. To me it makes a woman look strong, able to be independent enough to stand up and make a bold statement about her character. On the other side of the coin, though, I find a woman smoking a cigarette revolting; so common and stinky!

I read once that statistically people start smoking cigars in their 30’s, a category we both fell into at the time. Is it mid life crisis or is it just part of the maturity scale where you finally say “You know, I have had enough rules and conformity in my life. It’s time to truly live and indulge.”. At least the latter is what it is for me. I truly enjoy the taste of a cigar. To me cigarettes is a stinky dirty habit, whereas cigars are a hobby. I don’t need cigars. I am not addicted to cigars. I can give them up right now if need be. There are no toxic chemicals added to natural cigar tobacco leaf.

I know smoking of any kind is not good for you, but this is just a small indulgence of ours, maybe 5 to 6 cigars a month. My doctor even said that its no cause for alarm, nothing more than a night exposed to second hand smoke in a bar. The American Cancer Institute’s guidelines don’t even consider us smokers.

For us, cigar smoking is two things: 1) a social event where we have one with friends; 2) a relaxing moment together just sitting around a campfire, paying attention to each other, watching the stars or feeling a gentle breeze on a sunny day.

Oh! And I almost forgot about all the gadgets! I am a big gadget fan, and the world of cigars is no stranger to having gadgets for the cigar connoisseur. I have collected so many smoking gadgets such as cutters, punches, cigar holders, and lighters that I could open a museum attributed to such! And the cigar boxes! I have collected over the years so many different cigar boxes that my den almost looks like an episode of Hoarders! I have even bought empty cigar boxes from the smoke shops to add to the collection. Can we say OCD just one more time?

I don’t know how long we will continue to smoke our cigars, the powers that be, Big Brother, has been waging a war to make them illegal. Its important we all get involved with CRA (Cigar Rights of America) in some shape or form to keep our right to choose to smoke fine cigars. It was tobacco that founded this great nation we live in!

What I do know is that I have is about an hour and seven inches worth of cigar to smoke, along with my wife and her sweet Tatiana cigarillo, on our covered deck, where we can enjoy our cigars for now, rain or shine. The pool can wait another day, the fire pit is calling our names.

And until next post…………..Peace.